Why Building Your Self-Esteem Matters:
Building My Confidence and Evolving to Be A Better Me Introduction Are you familiar with the saying, ‘if everyone were the same, life would be boring?’ Cliche, right? But, it makes a lot of sense to me. As I begin to dig deep within myself I think, “How in the world did I get to a point in my life where I could not look at myself in the mirror?” Or I would say things like,” Why am I lacking the confidence that I need to level-up in life.” Let’s face it, there is only one of you and there is only one of me. Well, except if you have a twin, then there may be two of you, but even twins have different interests and personalities. Today, I will share my personal experiences about my highs and lows in life and what helped me build my confidence to evolve and to be a better me. Photo taken by Tamara “T” Brown, Owner & Hair Stylist of Fringe Salon.Website:https://www.fringesalonofmadison.com/ And The Story Begins Picture this, Desirae and Monique plan to meet at a cafe to catch up on their busy lives. Desirae is beyond excited to see Monique because it has been over six months since they last visited each other. As Desirae pulls into the parking lot, she notices Monique waving and smiling while yelling her name in excitement. Monique looks amazing! You may ask,’ What do you mean when you say amazing?’ Honestly, the answer depends on your perspective. Desirae mentally gathers herself as she opens her car door. As she steps out of the car, Desirae and Monique warmly greet each other by hugging one another. Suddenly, all Desirae can think of is, I need to work on taking care of myself, more self-love. I’m willing to bet many of us have felt the same way as Desirae. Have you ever felt that you were not enough? Or, felt like you cannot succeed in your passions and recognize that God has placed on your heart, out of fear? Did you answer yes to one or all of these questions? For those who haven’t experienced this, teach me something I don’t know; but I think most of us have reached it at some point in time. What’s Self-Esteem? Self-esteem is confidence and satisfaction in oneself: self-respect.₁ It is believing in your ability and value.₂ Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself — how you feel about your abilities and limitations. When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself as deserving the respect of others. When you have low self-esteem, you put little value on your opinions and ideas. Your self-esteem can affect whether you: My Journey with Self-Esteem Some of you may be able to relate to this, but my self-esteem began to decline during my elementary and middle school years. There were a group of kids who identified as “popular.” Have you ever thought, “Man… kids can be rude and heartless at times”? I’ve learned that there is a possibility that the merciless kids are either jealous of you or they are not confident in themselves. There is a possibility that the merciless kids will more than likely see that you are confident in who you are as an individual. Or they might not be confident in some areas about themselves and in efforts to make themselves feel better, they find something “wrong” with you. Isn’t that sad? A person feels compelled to express their opinions towards someone to feel good about themselves. Growing up, I was always self-conscious about my left eye. My left eye tends to move spontaneously and I’m usually unaware of it, unless someone informs me. Some people may recognize it as amblyopia, or you may be more familiar with the term lazy eye. It is commonly known as the lazy eye because the stronger eye works better, and it usually starts during the early childhood stages of life. It is not easy for parents to know the symptoms and I do not know if I had any, but I do know that I was born premature by four months at 1 lb and 11 ounces, and that is a miracle within itself. My Lazy Eye and Crowned Hair Everyone has something about them that they do not like. But what makes us question our individualized beauty and self-image is when other people say unkind words that can make us feel like we are not enough. Growing up, people would tease and say “DeShala, which way are you looking!?” or ” What are you looking at!?” while smirking and laughing at me. Thankfully I was raised in a household where my dad would always remind me that I am special and beautiful. I thank God that my dad on earth reminded me who I was in Christ and my Father in heaven reminded me of what he called me on this earth to do. I also was not educated enough about Black hair. My parents could not afford to take me to the salon as often as I wanted to. So, as any caring parent would do, they utilized home remedies to maintain the health of my hair to the best of their knowledge. As I got older, flat irons and curling irons were my friends. I straightened my hair often, and over time I lost my natural curl pattern. Little did I know that heat was not the enemy, but rather the number of times I applied heat (along with perms and manipulating it) would contribute to a loss in the hair department. I’ve always dreamed of long hair. But as I learned from others and educated myself, it is not about the length of the hair; it is about the hair’s health and knowing when to ask for help from someone who can teach me how to take care of it. I am grateful and proud of myself for growing in love with who I am as a…